one year ahead..

well.. it's almost been a year I din update my account.. what I can do?? hmm.. life is though.. the roads are difficult.. but.. it change me a lot.. what happen in these few month really makes me realise tat people are like tat.. friend?? best friend?? does this happen.. relationship or friendship will last forever.. how about love? I hate both of it very much.. why?? cant describe.. things getting worse day by day.. hurt.. by what I felt.. which it makes me not to believe in love.. friendship or even anyone who is near me..(of course not my family).. I thought I found a real friendship.. but I realise.. it was only dreams.. but of course to all my secondary friends are excluded.. what if I din't meet you all in the first time?? I will not be as tat bad for now.. right?? or.. I will stay happy as who I am.. I guess.. the time is almost near for me to go by myself.. but not together with anyone.. because I realise that people who stay by my side will ended up by hating me.. I am sorry.. but this is my natural attitude.. I wont change for the sake of suiting someone.. I don't wish for not believing anyone.. but.. what I wish has become something which ended keep on hurting me.. I had enough of it..