haiz.. what i wish for will gone in a blink of a eye..

i will never find true love.. and now.. i din hope for it as i know i will not get it.. when i love a person so much.. is either they will leave me or they will not even care bout me.. haiz.. so, wat is the point for me to find true love so hard.. i now.. don feel to have 1.. i wan2 turn to a cold blooded person which don even wish to care ppl beside me.. ppl beside me have 2 face.. liar.. bloody person.. i won even trust them anymore.. i wan2 be cold blooded.. i'm hurt worse.. my heart cries every night.. but no ppl understand me.. no ppl even bother to care wat is my feeling is.. i was so so so hurt and sad.. really emo-ing.. haiz.. but wat i can do.. nothing!! i'm juz a piece of jerk.. haiz.. now.. no1 can change me back to who i really am.. unless a person.. but, it's useless.. haiz..

haiz..what am i to you actually!

haiz..certainly many things happen..haiz..i feel losing someone really important to me..haiz..why..when i meet someone who i think is 100% perfect we cant be together? Haiz..wad i can do is stand aside do nothing..haiz..another thing which i very hurt..a person from my hometown..haiz..i help you so many things, i treat you so good, i treat you like my owned siblings..when i come kl..you din even care of me, ask how i'm..when i feel wan2 ask how are you, you will think i kepo..b4 i come kl..got secret we share together, got anything we share together..when i go kl..you din even find me..ask why? You give me stupid reason.. I dwn feel like being used..haiz..but you wont read my blog and you wont even bother to know how i'm..tat's the main reason i dwn to come back to hometown..coz you din even wan2 care about me..when i tell you i sick..you din even bother, haiz..wad can i do..i'm sad..i'm missing you over here but you at other side happy..din even care of me..i'm speechless and heart-broken..you will call me do things when i at kl..when i do good..you praise me with other way..when i did bad..you say me..critic me..come on!! I'm not your dog..i feel useless but i love you too much..but wad i can do? Haiz..nothing! Nothing!