i'm tension enough.. many things happen

haiz.. so many things happen.. i don't even know what i going to do.. haiz.. i don't even know why i can treat ppl so nice.. but in the opposite way.. they treat me like 'kanasai'.. i juz don't know why.. haiz.. should i quit becoming so call.. good guy.. and juz become who i'm only.. without caring what other ppl think of me.. don care what they say me.. don't care what they backstabed me.. i losing 1 very very good friend.. soon.. i juz don't know whether i will see this friend ever again or not.. i gonna miss this friend.. haiz.. ever since i come kl.. when i meet this friend.. my tears sometimes will flow.. haiz.. i juz wish i can take care of this friend.. but i think it's impossible.. haiz.. nothing much i can do also.. haiz.. who can help me.. nowadays.. my heart very pain.. my mood is bad.. no mood practice.. no mood chat or even sms.. haiz.. how can i improve??? i juz don't know what is the next step i can do.. what my heart really want now is.. i juz wish i can accompany my very very best friend to wherever this friend go.. there are many things which i don't even know how to express.. haiz..